pls dont ask why =D

i'm currently finishing may paper on a Rizal movie "Bayaning Third World" and by looking for additional input, i got to a blog of a girl named Monica just inspired by a girl's reaction regarding the movie.
I realized that this movie and the questionable retraction thing of Rizal will prove that Rizal, a like many of us is just human vulnerable and fragile. and another thing, we are all capable of creating our own figure of our hero, Rizal.

this is basically an effect of having a toxic hell of a week.=D

I wont look back..

"Yey!!"

That's how I welcomed 2009..hehe.. I'm very happy!Yey! and primarily having all these wonderful people around me makes me really really happy!. I'm just praying that this year will be really be a bang for me. hehe..BRing it on!!!XD 

I won't look back.. i'll just focus on moving forward:D. Learing the mistakes of the past and stop dwelling on it. I'll stop punishing myself from the regrets of the past.  I'm just really really happy.lol. 

and by the way.. last last night i dreamed of helping others is really what my soul wants. Its pretty weird because from my past entries i'm really struggling form my purpose.. but the question now will be HOW I'm I gonna do that?! well, i'm still thinking abot it. ok i'll just sleep and let my dreams help me answer it:D. but anyways, atleast their a bit of development.:D

hehe..

 xo xo

How do you trust yourself??!

that question is bugging me..i'm struggling whit self trust.

it makes me sad that eventhough i was aware of it i cant do something about it. 

I always seek for other's affirmation that i can do things..

Im afraid to trust myself.. I might get wrong.

but im taking actions with of course by seeking other people's help.

i've read an acticle about selftrust but i wasn't able to finish it but its a good read though.

he don't care.. and i dont too.

fine he forgot my birthday and guess what.. so damn hate him.
his so bastos. just hate .
i'll just stick and fine someone better than him.
i mean his the worst.
and from this post of mine. i'll be ending my agony.
i'll stop liking him. haha. super indeed. i'l just focus on the things that need to be done.
and maybe forget about him.
haha.
i'm embracing a new search..
search for a new crush. haha
appear apir!!

Birthday

my birthday is over..

another passed by..haha...
its weird actually because i was so so lazy. i didn't even went to school because its my birthday and good thing our professor wasn't there haha. thank God its my birthday.
present?? actually good wishes from everyone. except from HIM.
but anyways my day was fun. i was able to bake my own cake and added some twist to the usual brownies. actually i promised tara that i'll be on hunger strike but the brownies was so good that i cant resist and even everyone loved it so much.

i even played badminton in the afternoon when the sun wasn't so shinning and hot. i played it with our very wonderful wall that tiries me in picking up the bird. haha

btw, back to wishes, haha Mariz' wish was so funny. "more boyfriends to come" haha. even revi loved it ahaha..
indeed.

everytime write my thoughts here. i always end up being hopeless..
but to day it was a bit different...
i'm feeling hopefull!!

my cousin den who is a twilight freak visited me and shared some twilight freaks with me that end up me being a bit a fanatic. haha.. that leads me to be disappointed to some tech that my sis' fone cant read. grrr so hate it.
haha

should i have a piece of the leftovers?

i certainly can't tell. But what i know is that, how will i know its taste if i wont take a bite?! and yes still curious of its flavor. i haven't taste it. maybe a little but it just touches my lips

long ago, i refuse it because i was afraid.. what if it doesn't taste good? full of questions and doubt that made my tongue taste the most bitter and sweet flavor that the world could offer. yes, it was painful. but then again sweet in a sense that i made you bloom to the best. it made you realize how this are. but that made me crave for that.. some say "awful taste".. craving for its initial attacks. and later on craving for the whole of it.

and now the ultimate question..will take a bite to somebody's leftover that must be your in the first place??

i was thinking if things were very easy, basically i'll just get a new one right?! why let myself sacrifice for it if i can have a better one?! right?!

I CAN HAVE A BETTER ONE.

xoxo

my side trips...

he wanted my sweet but i refuse to give it to him. because i already have it i mean, i already took a bite of it. hehe but he was cute begging for it.. hehe..then he left. i thought he'll wait. haha.. hoping. asa!!
soon i know he'll get notice of me. haha
xoxo

its bean,....

Its been ages since the last time i posted here.

primarily words are not enough to describe or even help what I'm feeling right now. its weird. everyday is weird.. maybe i was trying so hard to attract things that i want to have and happen.
I've made a deal with some friends that with in a span of 2 years one of us must have a --- or else a consequence is waiting for her.

at the back of my mind, really wanted it really craving for it. craving might not be the appropriate word but i want to experience it. Disparate.

often times when you start knowing that person you end up liking him to be just your friend. he is just a friend. i just treasure every moments i spend with him. even if for him I'm just everybody else. maybe I see him as a potential but. can't because i wasn't even close to be a potential for him. just happy seeing him smiling. is this hidden desire.

ORG LIFE.
for the fact that i do have a lot of things to do, i still chose to procrastinate. i hate it. indeed. can somebody help me cure this?! anyhorse, we do have this event that we need some sponsors to help us to basically finance the event. the proceeds will go to our outreach activity. waahh

still.. at the end of the day. i dont know....where will i be at?
will i still find him?will he still find me?
YES INDEED!!