How do you trust yourself??!

that question is bugging me..i'm struggling whit self trust.

it makes me sad that eventhough i was aware of it i cant do something about it. 

I always seek for other's affirmation that i can do things..

Im afraid to trust myself.. I might get wrong.

but im taking actions with of course by seeking other people's help.

i've read an acticle about selftrust but i wasn't able to finish it but its a good read though.

he don't care.. and i dont too.

fine he forgot my birthday and guess what.. so damn hate him.
his so bastos. just hate .
i'll just stick and fine someone better than him.
i mean his the worst.
and from this post of mine. i'll be ending my agony.
i'll stop liking him. haha. super indeed. i'l just focus on the things that need to be done.
and maybe forget about him.
haha.
i'm embracing a new search..
search for a new crush. haha
appear apir!!

Birthday

my birthday is over..

another passed by..haha...
its weird actually because i was so so lazy. i didn't even went to school because its my birthday and good thing our professor wasn't there haha. thank God its my birthday.
present?? actually good wishes from everyone. except from HIM.
but anyways my day was fun. i was able to bake my own cake and added some twist to the usual brownies. actually i promised tara that i'll be on hunger strike but the brownies was so good that i cant resist and even everyone loved it so much.

i even played badminton in the afternoon when the sun wasn't so shinning and hot. i played it with our very wonderful wall that tiries me in picking up the bird. haha

btw, back to wishes, haha Mariz' wish was so funny. "more boyfriends to come" haha. even revi loved it ahaha..
indeed.

everytime write my thoughts here. i always end up being hopeless..
but to day it was a bit different...
i'm feeling hopefull!!

my cousin den who is a twilight freak visited me and shared some twilight freaks with me that end up me being a bit a fanatic. haha.. that leads me to be disappointed to some tech that my sis' fone cant read. grrr so hate it.
haha

should i have a piece of the leftovers?

i certainly can't tell. But what i know is that, how will i know its taste if i wont take a bite?! and yes still curious of its flavor. i haven't taste it. maybe a little but it just touches my lips

long ago, i refuse it because i was afraid.. what if it doesn't taste good? full of questions and doubt that made my tongue taste the most bitter and sweet flavor that the world could offer. yes, it was painful. but then again sweet in a sense that i made you bloom to the best. it made you realize how this are. but that made me crave for that.. some say "awful taste".. craving for its initial attacks. and later on craving for the whole of it.

and now the ultimate question..will take a bite to somebody's leftover that must be your in the first place??

i was thinking if things were very easy, basically i'll just get a new one right?! why let myself sacrifice for it if i can have a better one?! right?!

I CAN HAVE A BETTER ONE.

xoxo

my side trips...

he wanted my sweet but i refuse to give it to him. because i already have it i mean, i already took a bite of it. hehe but he was cute begging for it.. hehe..then he left. i thought he'll wait. haha.. hoping. asa!!
soon i know he'll get notice of me. haha
xoxo

its bean,....

Its been ages since the last time i posted here.

primarily words are not enough to describe or even help what I'm feeling right now. its weird. everyday is weird.. maybe i was trying so hard to attract things that i want to have and happen.
I've made a deal with some friends that with in a span of 2 years one of us must have a --- or else a consequence is waiting for her.

at the back of my mind, really wanted it really craving for it. craving might not be the appropriate word but i want to experience it. Disparate.

often times when you start knowing that person you end up liking him to be just your friend. he is just a friend. i just treasure every moments i spend with him. even if for him I'm just everybody else. maybe I see him as a potential but. can't because i wasn't even close to be a potential for him. just happy seeing him smiling. is this hidden desire.

ORG LIFE.
for the fact that i do have a lot of things to do, i still chose to procrastinate. i hate it. indeed. can somebody help me cure this?! anyhorse, we do have this event that we need some sponsors to help us to basically finance the event. the proceeds will go to our outreach activity. waahh

still.. at the end of the day. i dont know....where will i be at?
will i still find him?will he still find me?
YES INDEED!!

advance

feeling nothing..
believing in something..

for him.. product of longingness

i know he new nothing bout this...
i think im beginning to like him..
getting jealous of people flirting around him..

don't know if his sweet..or anything..
touchy?! kinda..
ang it makes kilig..after the moment not at the moment.

and the feeling of wanting it more...
an addiction.

but i shouldn't he's a friend jean..

stop thinking nonsense..
just happy feeling it again for someone i like..'
like?
haha
sweet tlga nya..
peste tlga..
haha..
pro cute din tlga..
i think its just a product of longingness

tumbling..for him its normal for met not so tlga...
pro kilig.azar.

Gozip gurls: reunited a blast!!BOOOOOMM!!!!

june 5 2008
cast:
me, ned, rachelle, katsan, joyce and mitch

location:
st. Paul Parañaque, rachelle's place and sm J (jologs)

i was with my highshcool frends..and had a wonderful time with them..
we hang out at rachelle's place..ahaha
had some cornics, cracklings, peanuts and a whole lot of water.
we had fun reminiscing out highschool world..
it was fun seeing how each one of us matures as our experiences widens..
ned shares her shining ojt escapeds with the celebs..ahaha it was fun i missed ned
i miss joycie's badass jokes..ahaha peace joycie luv u..
rachelle still the same..super over kulit ang laugh3p.
mitch didn't even look like 19..still look like a teenage mutant ninja..KID

saw a lot of familiar faces..mrs david, ms gonzales, former ms. marquez, mrs magtangob and the whole spcp staff..
still the same..
this day was a blast....boooom!!!!

just a thought..
nah next time n ln..

i love it here.. i can say watever i want and name people that i hate that i prefer no to mention and still nobody will find out.

for the past days i've been enjoying the cartwheel..
hate it i'll not say it any more..
it might connotes watever..

thank you LORD for this wonderful day...i love you..

i super love it here..
love it love it love it
jump jump jump jump!!!
aaaawhoooo!!!
xoxox

updates..

shems! its been a long time since my last entry.

ive been writing my thoughts on my twig book that ayie gave me.
no time to put it all here.
but I'll give you sneaks.

there a lot of things happened.
a lot of things changed.
a lot of things learned.

1. i appreciated how rational human beings are. God was majestically intelligent that he already planned everything.
2. it pays a lot when you listen. You'll learn a lot from everyone.
   
3. believe in your instincts.
4. pray harder.
5. sometimes you have share things with strangers.haha

be not be afraid of change.
deal with it.